I dreamed a dream in days gone by (last night)
That hope was high
And life worth living (I had my baby without any pain)
I dreamed that love would never die (I was in a hospital room that looked like a bathroom and had the same goldish linoleum as my Mom's bathroom, speak of love never dying)
I dreamed that God would be forgiving (I was giving birth in a bathroom remember)
Then I was young and unafraid (I had no husband there and no doctor)
And dreams were made and used and wasted (like the strip of toilet paper the janitor draped over the drawers to keep things clean)
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung, no wine untasted (hmmm, I don't drink wine, just whine)
But the tigers come at night (It was day acutally)
With their voices soft as thunder (the nice janitor girl mopping the floor with my old blue mop was pretty nice)
As they tear your hope apart (I realized I was already having the baby, half of her was out, the bottom half. She was reaching her hands onto my tummy and patting her still un-birthed head)
And they turn your dream to shame (I'm ashamed I just admitted that freaky part of my dream)
He slept a night by my side (Actually it was a girl baby and she was just fine after one nice, painless push)
(S)he filled my days with endless wonder (Babies do that)
(S)he took my childhood in (her) stride
But (s)he was gone when autumn came (She turned to a boy at the end of my dream)
And still I dream (s)he'll come to me (I really want a painless birth)
That we will live the years together
But there are dreams that cannot be (Thank heavens this is one of them)
And there are storms we cannot weather (Like next Monday it is supposed to be a high of 32)
I had a dream my life would be
So different from this birth I'm living (painless is the key)
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed. (I'll still be happy even with a little, or a lot, of pain if it only takes one push :-)
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Just a word
I'm gravida 6, para 5. Yep, that means I'm going to have my sixth, count 'em 6, child sometime next August. I'll post a little bit here and there to remind myself what a little sun in my soul feels like.
4 comments:
Yikes! that's a weird and scary dream.
Who wrote that poem? It seems so familiar to me.
That was really clever Brooke. I like the song, it's so poignant. I did recognize where it came from and sang the tune in my head. what a nightmare.
The poem sounds a finnity better if sung in the voice of Javert.
(mike's comment of course)
Very funny and clever. I totally laughed out loud at the baby patting the unbirthed head.
word! ok first this is chelse and second "oh my goodness" ha ha brook i love you and your crazy dreams with babies patting their unborn heads and even more because you put it to that song. who thinks of that? only you and that's why your my favorite sister!
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