How Sick Am I Really?

Every pregnancy I ask myself the same question about 2 or 3 months into things. Do you really feel as lousy as you think you do? Or are you just being a baby? being selfish and trying to get yourself a break? And then after I have the baby, I realize that I was indeed feeling lousy, because I can feel the difference so quickly.

Right now, I feel sick. I feel tired and devoid of energy and drive. Later I feel sore. My feet go numb when I get one minute into my prayers. My back aches (and aches for another good rub).

It's okay. I'm getting used to it. I feel sick and tired and a little bit guilty when I do. If women could cross the plains, feed their families, run a farm and tend to all the work all through pregnancy, what am I doing on the couch? Well, if a woman could sit on the couch and still have dinner, clean kids and clothes, I'm guessing she would have.

At least that is what I'm telling myself for the next 6 months.

Headaches

I've been getting regular headaches. They aren't severe, but they hurt and just won't go away. I'm at a loss about what to do. I don't remember getting them like this before. Doesn't it seem that after 5 pregnancies, I should have it down, that I should just be able to have the same old each time?

Does life ever work that way?

Life

Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh
The most beautiful sound
My life flowing through
Another

Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh
The most beautiful sound
My life sustaining
Another

Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh
The most beautiful sound
My life becoming
Another

What I'm eating

1. Dill pickles
2. The least amount of pizza possible
3. Turkey and Swiss sandwiches, with dill pickles
4. Sweets, already. Something sweet always seems to sound good when nothing else does (Root beer floats, ice cream sundaes, cinnamon bears, chocolate chip cookies)
5. More meat
6. Less pasta
7. Prenatal vitamins, good for me

All over again

Do I really want to do this all over again? Yes I do. Well, have my 6th baby, that is. I'm not sure I want to blog about it. Last time it wasn't too interesting or consistent. But since I don't journal that well, I'm going to give this a go.

I found out I was pregnant after only about 2 weeks, before I missed my period, because I was having some serious and unusual pains. I went in and found out all was well, no ectopic pregnancy etc. I also found out I was pregnant, which I suspected and why I was worried about the pain. I had a slight UTI, and so the doctor gave me a prescription. I was pretty doubtful. I've had my share of bladder infections, and trust me, this didn't feel anything like them. It felt like my uterus was going to fall out.

But I took the pills and about a week later I was all better. At least the pain was better. I felt happy as can be the whole time. I couldn't stop smiling. I can't wait to welcome another sweet, pure, innocent, perfect and totally unique child into our family.

And so our due date is August 2, and we are waiting. Waiting to get rid of the sick stomach all day long. Waiting to have enough energy to dry my hair after I shower. Waiting to tell all my friends (loved ones already know.)

Pregnancy is a lot of waiting for me. But less so than that first baby. After a week or two during this pregnancy, (before I felt sick, which always keeps the pregnancy in mind) I found myself only remembering that I was pregnant morning and night when I'd pray for health and strength and a healthy little baby to grow.

Now I wish I'd appreciated those days more. I was wondering if something was wrong because I didn't feel ANYTHING for so long. But the lovely sickness came, and there was no miscarriage. And now I'm 12 weeks along and feeling a little better (maybe?).

So far, so good.

Movement

As I lay on my floor today, looking at a book, I could feel my baby growing, small and hard inside. And then, I could feel that sweet body moving!

What a glory life is!

Busy

I'll see you in a while; let you know how things went. Until then, I'm busy.

By the numbers

39 weeks, 5 days, 19 hours and 43 minutes
3 cm
60% effaced
95% tired
100% sick of making dinners

39 weeks and counting. . .

. . .the hours!

So here you are, a nice picture of my new haircut and my growing tummy. Matt didn't exactly get all the tummy glory here, but you get the idea.



I'm contracting fairly often, but certainly not regularly. Almost every time I stand up from sitting I have one. On Sunday and Monday my biggest problem was a terrible kink in my neck that I woke up with. With no Tylenol in sight, I suffered through the day. I finally got some yesterday, and have been doing better. I also got some Tylenol PM and slept for a solid 4 hours last night before starting my every hour vigil.

I was really hoping to birth this girl this week, but I'm not feeling it. I was on Sunday, but things seem to be mellowing.

Head down, bum up

Almost 38 weeks and. . .

Head down, bum up (or at least kind of sideways) And if you don't know what this alludes to, you cannot claim to have been educated in the 80's, or at least not in rural Idaho. Or YOU WOULD KNOW!

Sciatic nerve: acting up
girl nursery deco: going up
clean baby girl clothes: still down (as in the basement)
pre-registered at the hospital: down with that, as in oh yeah, I did that

That's about it.

37 weeks and counting

My stomach hits about mid thigh when I kneel.

My sleep is broken into about 5 sections each night; sleep, wake, use bathroom, lay down on left side, sleep, wake, use bathroom, lay down on right side, and on and on.

My toenails are in serious need of attention.

My hair is about to be cut off.

My sciatic nerve exploded the other day, but feels better after following my midwife's advice for stretching those hamstrings (which is easier said than done with a twenty pound brick attached to your gut).

My baby is NOT breach anymore, head down.

My status is 2 cm and 50% effaced.

My back is oh so sore and ready for my massage on Thursday.

I'm physically ready; otherwise, still a lot of work to do!

Nightmares

You know you're pregnant when:

Tuesday night you dream about your daughter leaning too far over a railing on a many decker boat and she falls down and bounces on the wood floor below as you watch screaming, and try to run down the stairs to her as fast as you can. And then. . .

Wednesday you dream about looking out a window up high and seeing people jumping to their doom over a large bridge and you shout out to them to not, but they do anyway. And then you see a mom lift her daughter's legs over and dump her while she clings to the rail for her life and she doesn't listen to your pleading either. And then. . .

Thursday you dream that you are in a nice hotel with your family and all of a sudden a gaggle of police descend to make a drug bust and your family is in the middle of it and hears the shooting and sees the blood and the bodies/people lined up by the policemen to be taken in.

But the real nightmare is that you went for an appointment and the midwife said that your baby is so advanced that she has flipped around and instead of living upside down for the next month she is trying her hand at tap dancing on your bladder instead and you realize that you are going to have to lay upside down with all the blood rushing to your head and your back hurting, and your stomach cramping many times a day just to try and get the little rascal upside down again. Sighhhh.

She's breach.

5 weeks and counting

Here's how it feels to be me:

I am dead tired by 8 P.M., ready to sleep all night.
I am still tired at 7 A.M., but my body doesn't want to be in bed anymore, it's sore.
My hips are all loose and my back is all tight.
I can't eat much, my stomach resides somewhere between my spleen and my trachea.
To kneel and pray, my legs have to be spread out to make room for my tummy.
Sitting down and bending over to put on kids' shoes, just not happening.
I really want to eat pumpkin bread, I really don't want to eat dinner.
At 4 P.M. I often need a time out for crankiness and a nap.
My stomach is practicing with little hick-up contractions.
I cry over ruined dinner and spend the night hiding in my room.
I can't wait to have this little girl come meet us, but I'm worried that I'm not ready yet either.

Maternity fashion

Well, I didn't really think I would, but I made it through December in my normal clothes. I couldn't have done it without my trusty tummy sleeve (cheap cousin to the Bella band). However, over Christmas I really seemed to pop out. I am wondering what to do. Despite this being my 5th pregnancy, I have only 3 pairs of maternity pants, and two I am giving to charity, no questions asked. I haven't been pregnant in the winter since my first, so I have a plethora of capris, but no pants.

I have looked around a little, and haven't found much. I am still resisting and using my tummy sleeve. Will I go clear to the end without comfy and cute maternity pants? Where did you find some? I need help.

The Holidays

The start of heart burn, really popping out, gaining a little baby weight a little too fast, the holidays were good to me.

On a related note, I made it through December without wearing maternity clothes! I couldn't have done it without my tummy sleeve (cheap cousin to the Bella band). I tried on all my maternity clothes from the previous four pregnancies and was flabbergasted. They were largely awful. Not to mention I only own 4 pairs of maternity pants, a million capris, only four awful pants. I haven't been pregnant in the winter since my first. I guess a little shopping is in order.

And the doctor says. . .

Make that the midwife. And all she said was my ligaments were causing my trouble and pain and tears and hunched over-ness. Well, at least two times when I was in serious pain on my right side they were the trouble. I hope it doesn't pick up speed and frequency, but things seem to accelerate during pregnancy.

Like my weight, I'm sure all of these pounds are from baby, NOT ONE from the holiday overload.

Taking up space

Our little, growing daughter is taking up a lot of real estate in my abdomen. People often remark that I barely look pregnant and where could the baby be. Well, let me tell you, she is taking up residence in my rib cage, using my diaphragm as a pillow, or maybe a foot rest. Sometimes I wish she'd just poke my tummy out and leave my lungs and digestive system alone.

Tummy pains

I have stopped sleeping on my stomach. It is uncomfortable and just plain hurts sometimes. Some sad day in the not-to-distant future I will become a fully side sleeper. But until then, at least I still have my back.

Seeing into the future (or womb)

We (the baby and me) had our ultrasound last week amid the holiday rush. Matt was there too. The kids were home with a babysitter. I love the ultrasound experience. About the time when I start really feeling bustlings inside me, I get to watch them on screen too. This time we got an especially great view of the heart, all four chambers, valves etc. And we saw a cute face, fingers, toes, spine, brain, legs and elbows. All the essentials. Then we looked down under.

And what to our wondering eyes should appear but a little girl waiting to bolster the estrogen around here! We were kind of thinking girl. And I'll admit that I was thinking a little less kamikaze-like boyishness would be helpful to my nerves (and my house's walls).

Parenthetically, when Matt got home from the doctor (where I was still waiting to talk to the midwife) to work from the house, the kids asked "Where have you been anyway?" But they never asked if they would be having a brother and sister. They finally caught on and when I got home we told them. The girls cheered; Scott looked confused and then crestfallen. Then his little lip quivered and he looked really sad. He asked "Why didn't Heavenly Father want to make it a boy?" We assured him that maybe He would send a boy next time. (Oh dear.)

So now we are in the baby name list-making stage. So if you've got any good ideas. . .

Still a little sick

I think I've been feeling sicker with this baby. I have been having a sour stomach again, nothing sounds good to eat. Blah.

Especially
1. pumpkin cookies, and I LOVE pumpkin cookies
2. pizza
3. cereal
4. dinner

Maybe this means a girl.