Excuses or excuses

I'm not feeling great. Does anyone feel great the first few months of pregnancy? So I'm just wondering, am I just making excuses for not doing all my work and being a good mommy or am I really not feeling well and deserve to sit down and veg for a few or many minutes, which is also. . .an excuse. Hmmmm.

Getting cranky

There is no way to get around it, I am more cranky when I am pregnant. Is it because all my patience is being used up on dividing cell after cell after cell? Or is it because I don't feel so great and am constantly tired?

All I know is that I feel sorry for my husband and kids. And how's this, I will do my best to suppress my grumpiness knowing that it isn't you, it's me, or maybe the ball of cells rapidly dividing in my uterus. And will you please just smile and laugh together after I leave the room for a time out?

Thanks, I need that.

Being sick sucks

I finally had my first really sick moment. And that was practically all it was, a few hours one morning. But it wasn't pleasant. In my alter ego's words, it sucked.

It happened in Newport this last week. I woke up okayish. But it all went downhill from there. I was nauseous, I wanted to throw up. It felt like my body was imploding, eating itself from the inside out. I was dizzy every time I closed my eyes. It was awful.

Luckily my sweet husband took the kids for a walk and left me alone to moan. I finally laid down and slept for a half hour. I awoke with a fairly settled stomach and willingness to go on another day. Blah. Hopefully there won't be many such days in the next 8 months.

Our secret is out!

Last night we had a surprise party. I made chocolate chip cookies. We had the kids come in (from some fun and frolicking outside) and get into their pjs. Speaking of pjs, if you have kids and don't have the book Pajama Time! by Sandra Boynton, you should get it before your next bedtime! Matt told them that they had a surprise for them.

Well, all it takes to get a 4 or 6 year old heart pitter-pattering is mention of a surprise. Rachel (#2) and Scott(#3) came scurrying in asking what I was making. Was that the surprise? Andrew(#4) was carried in and was his happy usual self. Dawn(#1) had already questioned her dad if it was a surprise like a toy surprise or a surprise like Mom was pregnant or something! Well, that did steal our thunder a bit.

After everyone was be-jamma-ed we sat down for scripture reading. Matt read a special scripture for the occasion. Do you know the one where Nephi is trying to figure out what the tree in his vision meant? The angel shows him a vision of the virgin Mary bringing the Christ child into the world as a innocent baby. And then he knows. The tree bearing the white fruit was the love of God. How wonderful and touching that symbol is. Having had 4 sweet children pass from heaven to earth through my body, I know the sweetness, even wholeness, that is birth, that is love. Matt loved these scriptures before I did, but they hold a place in both of our hearts now.

After finishing the scripture story, Dawn and Rachel were pretty sure what was going on. We announced that next year at Easter time we would be having a new baby join our family! The kids were all excited. Dawn seemed genuinely touched with tears welling up in her eyes. Rachel was excited too. Either Rachel or Scott piped up with, "remember that we got presents when Andrew was born!" Joy, a new baby and a present. How much better can it get!

After swearing our kids to secrecy, we kissed them all soundly and sent them to bed, after they were plastered with gooey chocolate chip cookies that is.

So now Rachel thinks I'm showing all ready. I sadly explained that I would not be showing for several months if all goes well. She replied that I better not eat any sweets for the rest of the week. My only solace came as she quipped as she skipped out the door that daddy better, too. It could be a contest. She has also been the one to continually pat my tummy today and smile at me. Dawn will smile at me knowingly or say she can't believe I'm pregnant. The boys don't seem too affected. And that is fine. I'm sure it will start affecting them sooner than they would like.

So now instead of a two person, very secure secret, we have a more jubilant and significantly less stable 6 person secret. Aren't families warm and comforting?

There are worse things than having to pee at 4 am

Okay, there are a lot of things worse. In fact, I don't really mind. But last night I peed, and then couldn't get back to sleep. I was up for over an hour! Lousy. I even started thinking about how I was going to blog about it in the morning! Ha. It was a lot wittier in my 5 am stupor.

At Scott's birthday party last night, my sister-in-law, who is a new mom, told me that she used to complain about having to pee every hour of the night before she delivered her sweet baby. She said that she has since taken it all back. Peeing every hour was a lot simpler than feeding a baby every other hour for an hour or so.

Like I said, there are a lot of things worse than having to pee at 4 am.